the zephyr and i

We've moved again

2010-08-23T10:50:00.000+02:00

www.saaleha.com/thezephyrandi

Update your feedreaders and blogrolls

2008-12-01T14:22:00.003+02:00

The content of this blog has been copied over to www.saaleha.com and will no longer be updated on Blogger.

Please change the details on your blogrolls and settings on your feedreaders, to reflect the new url (that's mostly for the 2 of you I can see on Google Reader).

You can read newer posts of the kind you're used to seeing here, on www.saaleha.com by clicking on the The Zephyr and I category.

Here are some settings you might find useful, depending on the feedreader you use:
http://saaleha.com/feed/ (RSS 2.0 format)
http://saaleha.com/feed/rss2/ (RSS 2.0 format)
http://saaleha.com/feed/rss/ (RSS 0.92 format)
http://saaleha.com/feed/rdf/ (RDF/RSS 1.0 format)
http://saaleha.com/feed/atom/ (Atom format)

Thank you for sharing your mindspace with me and I hope we'll have some really engaging interactions on www.saaleha.com

after all these years...

2008-11-10T14:39:00.002+02:00

it was a fault of shortsight.

to read chalk

on a blackboard;

the bridge between

seeing and learning,

built another

crooked bridge:

out of malleable bone

and pliable years.

And in the ninth,

heavy coke-bottle glass and names,

gave way to new sight

I could poke into my eyes every morning.

but still the nose

I wasn't born with,

I said, ruined by spectacles so early on.

Fingers in mirrors trying to undo

the done, see,

this is what I'm meant to look like.

but now I see pictures

of daddy looking away,

profiles of a man

with perfect sight.

and I see a bridge

between him

and I.

Fingers in a mirror,

tapping a line, see,

this is what I look like.

monkeys on typewriters 1

2008-11-06T19:25:00.003+02:00

Click on graphic to enlarge.

Made at www.wordle.net

spoken word

2008-10-25T17:08:00.002+02:00

The audio renderings of selected poems in mp3 format (a pocket voice recorder makes for low production value):

Another Boxing Day (1016kb)

For Unknown (1mb)

Meanwhile Juxtaposition Adorns Dreams (710kb)

The Postcards I Never Sent (1mb)

For Those Who Just Never Got It (2mb)

For those who just never got it

2008-10-10T09:53:00.003+02:00

This will

pick at the knots

of your years

where stanzas and

rhyme schemas

were the ababa

of babies babble

and old men forgotten.

This will dissolve

the cement

of metaphors

such as like

beyond your mindscape

and things you give a damn about.

I want this to tell

you that

a poem

is a smell.

It is your nostrils

flaring

at the fennel of

tea after the storm

in the mug.

It is you drawing

steel from the safe musk

of your fathers embrace.

It is hospital disinfectant

and the camphor

of bereavement.

It is the stinging talc

of gunpowder

and earth of the rocks thrown

by children who should not

be looking so intently towards death.

This is

a poem.

I want this to tell

you that

a poem

is a taste.

It is strawberry softserve

"Them that takes cakes..."

2008-09-29T14:23:00.003+02:00

Sometimes
I kick
geriatrics
in the shins
in the dark
of half-price cinema.

Sometimes
I weave
new birds of paradise
into your pristine
chobi
from gum
my feet bring in off
of the street.

Sometimes
I split
infinitives
and dangle
participles and modifiers
from the
hanging mobile of
my prose.

Sometimes
I forget
the salt
the sugar
remembering instead
the exuberance of
turmeric.

Sometimes
I
just
make
mistakes.

verse to verse or catching zephyrs with a colander

2008-08-12T13:54:00.006+02:00

there used to be

poems
for every
pavement crack

ballads
for every
boy with
stained sleeves
and a hole in his chest

couplets
for every
gambler with a broken dream
losing fast on a threadless seam

elegies
for every
father who lived
too short
and died too
long

epics
for every
Madiba-shuffling
Ghandi
with his face on a t-shirt
made in shanghai

ghazals
for every
lover so loving
love itself could not requite

odes
for every
sunset
burnt behind an
eyelid

but now
my verse
is
blank.

Women's Day 2008

2008-08-09T18:28:00.002+02:00

A treat
for Women's Day;
manicures for all the girls.

How nice to have
one's hand
wrapped in another's;
soothing
exfoliating
grooming.

A drive
to the shops after.

And there's a woman
at the robots,
her baby growing on her back.

Her hands hold out
a plastic bowl.

Window wound down,
buffed and filed fingernails
bounce off sunlight
as coins hit plastic
with the
cadence
of
guilt
and
impotence.

the accidental plagiarist

2008-07-05T18:36:00.003+02:00

we must tread around these words
on the very last threads of our socks,
careful,
care-full,
for it would take one slight mis-step
to crush a well-placed verb
with our heavy un-finishing schooled feet,
and these shards of alphabet-genius will cling to our ungainly soles,
and when we next step on to pages of our own,
we will find the prints we leave behind,
other than with the mud of our clumsiness,
will sparkle with the crystal of your cleverness.

pain in community of property

2008-05-26T10:34:00.009+02:00

don't hurt
coz i hurt
and the hurt
is so bad
coz you're hurt.

it may as well have been

my neck wrung by
spectre hands

-- my queendom for instant ken
of therapeutic massage at 3am.

or my sleep bruised
by the sandpaper alarms

-- I, procrastinator-pro pushed on snooze 5, 6, times 17?
My sorry can't write your lost-dream endings.

Just because...

2008-05-16T11:38:00.001+02:00

...you use
words
like
cognitive,

does not
make me
think well
of you.

nothing more pathetic than writing about writer's block

2008-05-12T14:05:00.000+02:00

this static

is the grey-horrid
that makes
mash of minds,
lint for flint.

a muse out of
commission,
rehab/probation,
one forgets
what she's off of now.

I want to spew genius!
but all I bring up
is other people's corn.

i thought of this while creeping up the ass of the car in front of me yesterday

2008-05-07T14:51:00.003+02:00

sun scalded eyes-
bones blasted by
the fourteenth pothole-
another
fucking taxi driver
who can't fucking indicate-
head heavy with the pain of sunset-
what is this crap they play on the radio these days-
clutch cramp-
no Sir, I don't have any change today-
dead traffic light-
tag on another half-hour of crawling up
the bum of the car in front of me-
mental congestion.

but you know

I'd drive
another thousand minutes of this
for coming home to you.

i never knew what empty was until he left for the airport

2008-04-15T15:17:00.004+02:00

A piece of me
is on a plane to China,
shifting awkwardly in
economy class.

His ipod dreams
I seek to punctuate,
with the missile missives
of a mad woman.

He calls me crazy,
though he knows,
we're in this madness
together:

Where we no longer
have the spaces of ourselves
but this sea of
something.

It's our joke
that we can't swim,
but see how well
we float.

amen

2008-04-10T14:45:00.005+02:00

I used to ask God
for silly things.

He had the Omniscience
to ignore me.

I also asked for the ability
to know Love when I found it.

I'm glad He didn't think
you were silly.

Perfect are the silences...

2008-04-01T12:59:00.001+02:00

amid the conversations
of your eyes.

song 2 from the latter days

2007-11-14T10:40:00.000+02:00

never thought
it would
be

a hometown boy

finding his
home with
me.

the postcards i never sent

2007-09-20T01:00:00.000+02:00

I fell in love with you
in Paris.
At the foot of that tower,
over the cityscape.
the steps at Montmarte.
The man outside the postcard shop
played our song.
and it was the first time i heard it.

I fell in love with you
in Florence,
There were sunsets over bridges,
a river in every town,
and an artist in Rome,
who may have been
you in your thousandth lifetime.

I fell in love with you
in Jungfrau,
the snow melting into
poems on my palms,
while the mountains stood
stubborn as you sometimes do.

I fell in love with you
in Amsterdam,
Tracing Sunflowers and a mad genius
with my senses,
Dodging bicycles and clouds,
laughing at things you said
miles ago.

Miles ago.

I look back at you miles ago.

whisper by breath,
praying the missives of a child,
catching the wind in the net of my fingers,
pushing my supplications to meld with the air.
Blowing away this spirit bolus to find you.

I fell in love with you.
In the Piazzas, Platze and Pleins,
up the stairs of millenia and down the slopes of
a warm hill in Beaujolais.

I fell in love with you.

Miles ago.

Disturbing are those dreams...

2007-09-10T02:08:00.000+02:00

... that render me unfaithful to you while I sleep.

I swear
he looked like You.

in the folds of his eyes and the
closeness of his lips.

subconscious regurgitations?
throwing up all that I no longer need?

because now i have You?

perhaps.

I hope.

I still feel

Guilty.

those moments where you think you may not see again

2007-06-19T02:56:00.000+02:00

for whatever pall of heaviness is cast
over before-sleep thoughts.

you can never thrive on tainted water.
yet you wish you could draw out its poison,

go back to happier things,
before other things.
ugly things.

like
miscommunication.
misunderstanding.
mistakes.

without recrimination and who's to blame.
without liability.
without anything but the nothing of nothing.
like the beginning.

but you can't.

so you wish
only good for whatever lies ahead.
without looking back.

song 1 from the latter days

2007-06-11T07:56:00.000+02:00

I want

to go to

Forever

with you.

perseverance

2007-04-06T09:30:00.000+02:00

as
gravid
water
to
stubborn
stone,

in time,

i
too
will
dent

you.

song 2 from the early days

2007-03-05T09:47:00.000+02:00

we could do this
forever,
for hours.

if they ask,
you'll say,
"we got lost in each other"

--

misplaced a systole
grappling with maps,

left behind
the inclination of breath
charting the path.

--

new years 2007

2007-01-02T03:02:00.000+02:00

end to begin
begin to end

unresolute.

these things we clutch
as the crutch.

we'd be braver to let go.

there'll always be ghosts

2006-12-12T11:55:00.000+02:00

We search for home
in the eyes of strangers

transient completion
in the arms

of those who fade
too soon.

meanwhile juxtaposition adorns dreams

2006-11-27T15:45:00.000+02:00

We need no titles here
Our scars define us
Unoriginal though they may be.

Do you really want to see

me bare my soul and
its cigarette burns
how they mirror the lesions from the
acid she threw in your eyes?

We hurt as we love,
don't we?

testing depth,
punching holes
where we think we need the light.

breaking as we build,

and wondering why

they always leave.

the monsters
they cower from

wearing our names.

Radioplay...(1)

2006-11-22T11:23:00.000+02:00

i won't search for
the sleep you lost,
or the words
spent in my way,

one day you're gonna tell a friend

chorus:

one day you're gonna say,

there she goes,
there she goes,
the one that got away.

i wont count the
calls you never made,
or the songs i liked
you never played,

one day you'll tell a comrade,

chorus:

one day you're gonna say,

there she goes,
there she goes,
the one that got away

the one that got away (repeat to fade)

rhymes with rhyme

2006-11-08T16:38:00.000+02:00

Name was Valentine,
Baby, be mine,

Said I was sweet,
Oh, would be neat,

If we could cruise
Sometime.

Name was Valentine,
Get in the line,

Said I was sweet,
Oh, what a treat,

If we could bruise,
Sometime.

Name was Valentine,
Girl, you're fine

Said I was sweet,
Skip that beat,

If we could rhyme
Sometime.

abu ghraib

2006-10-19T17:40:00.000+02:00

How do you see the fine line
Between one mother/another mother
A child/another child.

- darker skin,
That backward idea of covering herself,
A consonant that's pronounced
In the middle of their throats,

Not your tongue;
"These heathens don’t know God"

That must bold the line/

Make it easier to pull them away
from any hold that is humanity

superfluous hair with the wax of your liberation.

Removes the guilt
When you strip them.

"spit camel-whore,
No Mother of mine.
sand-bunny children
they'll only grow up to hate our freedom"

Label - mark them Nothing.
and it is nothing:

To debase.

tactile semantics (1)

2006-10-09T08:49:00.000+02:00

There is no syntax for soul,
Said Jimi, Jazz, Rock, and Roll

- -

2006-09-21T17:09:00.000+02:00

like a niqaabi
all you see

is my
eyes

follow
your circuit

i hijab my
lust

wrap it up
so you wont

be offended

when i dream
of you.

call waiting...reality on the line.

2006-08-29T10:41:00.000+02:00

you say
you dream
us.

i say
you dream.

the thousand words

2006-08-17T12:43:00.000+02:00

Poems
are
polaroids
for days
when
stories
fail
us
and
we
want
to
tale
the
moments
that
define
us
but
the
plot
eludes
us
so
we
string
some
characters
make
them
up
pretty
like
mascara
metaphor
and
a
rouge
of
rhythm
smile
and
say

residuals

2006-06-14T16:21:00.000+02:00

Of things that mean nothing
to no one
but me;

my binary would fill
the static between
my fingers, your eyes
and the pensive screen.

but i will not type
retrospective hindsight;
the "ass-view", i term.
with a cynic acid-bite.

Be Delicious

2006-06-12T16:25:00.000+02:00

Grapefruit, Juniper Berries
Coffee, Quinine

Indonesian Patchouli
and something called
Absolute Africa.

Donna Karan
New York
Johannesburg
she bubbled
a witchery
in that cauldron.

but i was the voodoo lady,

And the scent
on my fingers
stained
when he left,

forever.

though
I didn't know it
at the time.

to be continued...

2006-05-24T14:24:00.000+02:00

brief infinity;

the definition of
when you asked me
to close my eyes.

after telling me
the future would
put spaces between us.

just eyelash intervals
but epic intermissions
between the prequel
and the sequel.

I'm still writing our story,
there's no plot here yet to lose,
which also means

the ending hasn't begun.

song 1 from the early days

2006-05-15T08:59:00.000+02:00

We can't swim
You and I.

Yet I fear no fathoms.

For we've not learnt
to drown.

things to do.

2006-05-02T12:43:00.000+02:00

between backpacking
and bungee jumping

Live fijian seas
and crazy fogs

exposures and
sunrise over nostalgia

scaramouche fandango
and konichiwa

a new arabic tongue
and freestyle butterflies

everyman's Everest
and the open road

between city living
and smallville.

you want to
lose yourself in someone.

Don't give me another reason to want you...

2006-03-22T11:33:00.000+02:00

I've already spilt.
And lachrymals fail me.

Don't give me another reason,
Two years is a distance,

And I never was good with time

or direction.

Of things we sometimes imagine

2006-01-30T14:52:00.000+02:00

the box on the shelf
with the black-penned Possibility
has a lid that won't close
for
yesterday's thinkings
and tomorrow's
procrastinations
clutter

and never lie flat.

in it is the house i'd build
and fill with his favourite things.

he'd laugh,
for he hasn't seen the butter-flour apron
beneath the ink of my liberal jeans,

but there I'll be;
a smile in his kitchen
and one for when he'd wake,

between my work with words
and the song of sunrise
sweeping outside the front door.

As these things do unfold

2005-12-31T23:13:00.000+02:00

There'll come a day
When you will say -
"I've met the Woman of My Dreams"

A smile will lie
This soul will sigh -
"I've lost the Man of Mine"

Another Boxing Day

2005-12-26T02:01:00.000+02:00

One more year has passed
With him insubstantial,
Buried under now sixteen anniversaries of resignation,
And the mantra Allah Has A Plan
And there's a damn good reason why
I was given six nothing years
To know of the man

Who I see everyday
In my eyes
My nose of too much character
My dented chin.

One more year has passed,
With him substantial,
Buried under now sixteen anniversaries of definition,
And the slow steady work of
Walking through smoke of when
I was given six nebulous years
To know of the man

More with death than with life
And the spaces between
Who left me with Ludlum's,
And a Bob Marley tie.

still

2005-12-08T13:48:00.000+02:00

despite
the
promise

time did
not keep its'.

sibilant
sand
hours
eroded
nothing from
the written

and everything
that came before.

as was.

until
you tell
me

this hope
festers

and will scar.

these paper shoulders

2005-12-08T11:27:00.000+02:00

these
paper
shoulders

crease
crumple
pucker
powder

from
catching
the
tears
of
the
world.

your's are made
of
stronger stuff.

Fighting Fate

2005-12-02T20:04:00.000+02:00

I
wait
for
God
to change
His
Mind.

first words

2005-11-18T10:27:00.000+02:00

when
frayed books
in
frayed schoolbags
become
an Official Threat
at an Official Whim

when
a made-in-china
mass market
fickle prop of play
becomes
an
unmade-in-jenin
12-year-old Man

when a little girl
'scared to death'
according to the
Official Transcript
is 'shot to death'
instead

and three-year-olds
who won't sit still
could lead
to
"confirmation of a kill"

I wait for my
baby cousin
to ask-
"they shoot children don't they?"

an arb moment

2005-11-15T17:00:00.000+02:00

to concur
is to conquer.

(ok ok, i WAS on something)

messing with the cosmos:)

2005-10-11T18:01:00.000+02:00

Wasn't my intent to off-orbit the planets,
And I really didn't mean to move the stars,
I just thought Venus would look prettier
If it were right up next to Mars.

For Unknown 16/06/76

2005-06-21T17:58:00.000+02:00

catalyst: a visit to the Hector Pietersen Memorial in Soweto.

For Unknown 16/06/76
a frozen face
on a white wall.
open mouth
rigid arms
your eyes
are the eyes of your comrades
children
with weighted shoulders
and loud voices
muted by the captured moment.

but I hear it.
decibels of scaled anger
your suffering erupt,
holding out its arms to me.

am I worthy of embrace?
1976- not even a seeded thought
in the mind of a girl I call mother.

you are background
context to your time
framing the "struggle"
painting it with your essence
as bullets tattoo your fate.

A bricked acknowledgement
that you were felled on that day
now bedded on gravel
bordered by the crunching tourist tiptoes
echoing now-impotent jackboots

the granite speaks

of more bodies,
not nobodies
but somebodies
with names
and for others without

there is a brick
in a yard
on the gravel.

freedom isn't

2005-04-28T07:46:00.000+02:00

Freedom isn't

a chant by the disenchanted;
fists in the air
conducting the symphony of protest.
-it's not the screaming pamphlet
competing with autumn leaves for pavement space,
or the posters that tell of injustice and atrocity
and "why we must care"
-or the open profession of faith;
and it's liberty of prostration
without incarceration
and the open declaration
that G-d is always above you.
-it's not the book that didn't burn
or the beach that welcomed all Africa's children.
These are but her offspring,
Her issue that will carry her promise.

For Women's Day 2004

2004-08-04T07:49:00.000+02:00

"Behind every successful man"
Graffiti on the subconscious:
The weaker of the species-
The deadlier of the species-
Bearer Of Life-
Mother-
Sister-
Daughter-
Friend-
Should she choose.

"Strike a woman, strike a rock"
Strike at women with rocks:
The rebound is greater,
The ramifications more painful.

Amina
Khadija
Fatima
Ayesha,
Resonate.

Woman
Wo-man
Part of man.
More than man.

Building destruction

2004-07-15T07:55:00.000+02:00

Unravel me,
Pull me to pieces,
Build me up,
Complete me with kisses.

Shape me with touches,
Break me with sighs,
Mould me with lips,
Melt me with cries.

Make me whole,
Diminish me slowly,
Cast me with caresses,
Erode me, but hold me.

On Albinos

2004-06-11T08:16:00.000+02:00

On Albinos
My friend is phobic
about Albinos,
She cannot stand
to see them.
It defies the bases
of all reason,
yet she's quaking
and she's
freezing.
What's so bad about Albinos
I never fail to ask her.
"The fact they lack the
basic stuff
that makes us
yellow, brown or buff.
Melanin,
Coloured Skin,
They're pigment free,
Unnaturally."
But they're born that way
I never fail to say.
"But it can't be right,
Are they brown,
yellow
or white?"
But that doesn't matter,
if they're former,
middle
or latter.
Sans that melanin,
that coloured skin,
they just Be,
Him,
She,
You,
Me.
Without that troublesome little cell,
Millennia's history goes to hell,
Wars unfought,
Struggles naught,
'Twould be no sin,
Born without melanin.

after that afternoon

2004-06-01T08:11:00.000+02:00

After that afternoon
(Part 1)
Inhibitions shed;
dead skin.
How brittle
Is her composure,
How porcelain
Is her restraint.

She melts;
Lead unto flame.
No King's men
To make her whole.
The renovation
must be her own

(Part 2)
Sans reason
A mindless mindlessness
The precipice so inviting,
And she accepted.
Willingly.

But she will not admit.
Claims she was pushed.
But who else was there?

A beautiful failing,
She will admit.
But hardly well thought of.
To fall
To fall
To fall
To fail.

Exquisite.

gave my heart to the wind's keep

2004-01-26T09:07:00.000+02:00

I gave my heart in the winds keep,
He shall not let me break.
For where he lays me down to sleep
My slumber there I shall take.

And when his will is for my dance
Along his opus I shall sway,
The zephyrs sing of fated chance
And float me further on my way.

Call not my love fickle, light or fey
If I lay not too long in ones grasp,
For when Wind whispers, I feather away
And traces remain for memory's clasp.

The wind was not my only keeper,
Another had been my first intent,
But when I sought to lay much deeper
I found his soul already spent

On the keeping of one other heart
And there seemed not space for me,
Wind spoke and rendered me to part
And promised of the freedom I would see.

"For all of life, there is your chance
To lay your heart in another's keep,
But of now, drift free and dance,
And live, and laugh, smile and sleep."

a simple request

2003-10-02T08:02:00.000+02:00

What I desire is
Simple
Tis merely
Undying
declaration
Of your
sheer
Devotion to
Me.
I ask
Only
For your
worship
And your
sacrifice
In My Path.
There's the requirement
of your passion
that fires
Eternally,
Only for me.
Only
For me.
Only for
Me.
Me.
You shall be tied to
My feet.
My every breath
the motive behind yours.
You will be chained to
My will.
My every thought
the prelude to your own.
That's all
I desire.

Simple.

a One?

2003-09-08T08:05:00.000+02:00

There is one that moves me
To depths of perilous desire,
There is one that raises me
To the heights I do aspire.

And with his soul poetic,
His words; they echo mine,
Could he be some forgotten twin
I now meet by fate's design?

a birthday poem

2003-06-22T17:57:00.000+02:00

For Naazia

" and when all of creation gathered, before taking
first breath,
and we were but souls, humble in God's Light,
and before all our knowledge of Life, Love
and Death,
and we were but souls, warm in God's Light,
and next to my soul, shone one like my
own twin,
for we were but souls, glowing in God's Light,
and she would be there for when Life
would begin,
When we were but souls, content in God's Light.

Soul Guardian

2003-06-01T08:49:00.000+02:00

Soul Guardian,
Sole Guardian,
Keeper of my heart,
The memory walks a well-trod road,
And still I draw the path,

Thoughts will find time to stray
To an afternoon of rapture
When but a glance was all that
Needed to claim my heart its capture.

for the One who is kept so far

2003-05-11T08:48:00.000+02:00

For the One who is kept so far

Distance has brought us together,
And yet it keeps us apart,
And now I lie without solace,
For the absence of my own twin heart.

Distance brought us closer,
And yet you are further away,
And now I lie here waiting,
For the coming of that day,

When distance shall bring you nearer,
And never shall it be,
That I am to lie without you,
Distance has brought you to me.

a thought of touch

2003-04-09T08:47:00.000+02:00

When I touched your hand that day,
Did it feel in any way,
Like the way I felt inside;
To claim a breath I had tried,
But the globe stopped spinning in that time,
And the clock stopped ringing in mid-chime,
And my world did its own revolution,
And my emotion excited my mind‚Äôs convolution,
I felt for more than I could handle,
It was more inferno than flickering candle.
And when I touched your hand again,
The realm of madness became my sane,
So when our hands are tied by touch,
I wonder, if you would feel that much,
Of what I felt, and in that way,
Of when I touched your hand that day.

upon the burial of her son

2003-02-05T09:44:00.000+02:00

Upon the Burial of her son

O Mother, you have lost your own,
And the sands cover him so.

O Mother, how the wind resounds your pain,
And the sands cover him so.

O Mother, how the sky bears your loss,
And the sands cover him so.

O Mother, how the mourners shake their heads,
As the sands cover him so.

O Mother, how you quake in your desperation,
And the sands cover him so.

O Mother, how the able men toil for him,
And the sands cover him so.

O Mother, how their spades cut into the earth,
And the sands cover him so.

O Mother, they have filled the emptiness of the ground,
And the sands cover him so.

O Mother, do they fill the emptiness of you,
How the sands cover him so.

O Mother, so much sand
And still, they cover him so.

O Mother, it is at its end,
And the sands cover him so,

O Mother, you only hold him in prayer now,
For the sands have covered him so.

to the looking glass

2003-01-29T09:41:00.000+02:00

To the looking glass

My love was plain for the reflection
Mirrored in every gesture,
The symmetrical word,
The congruent thought.

And when you loved that which
I loved myself;
The love of myself,
I was found twice reflected.

And when my hands were placed to meet yours,
I found I could not pass
That cool, still veneer of
A vertical reflection pool solidified,

And then sun broke over my perplexity;
Only when mirrors are shattered,
Can the love be real.

call waiting

2002-10-07T08:39:00.000+02:00

Call waiting

Stranger;
Anticipate
Pacing
Double tracks in a brain,
Each step
Closer,
Further
From an end,
And the phone is still.

Another path
Winding road
It mounts
And insides
Swell with the
Juice of a sour inadequacy,
And the phone is still.

Feeling simmer,
Whispering bubbles
Susserant
Up and up
Up and up
And the phone is still.

Air presses heavy
Dull pressure drones
Silence bursts
Blood pumps
Undulating,
And the phone is still.

Placating glances
Importunate fever,
Pathetic voodoos
Impotent chants,
Ring dammit ring,
And the phone is still.

upon a ring

2002-10-04T08:38:00.000+02:00

Upon a ring

Eternity,
Pure and shiny
Lunar on liquid
Smooth and warmed by my heat
Reflection deep,
Hematite beauty
Tight on my finger
It leaves its mark,
Like you.

on your statuesqueness

2002-09-26T08:37:00.000+02:00

On your statuesqueness

Since I've put you
Up upon
That pedestal,
My neck aches
From looking up
So often,

So maybe
I should
Bring you back
Down to size,
And look you
In the eye
As my equal.

towards the pedestal

2002-08-13T08:34:00.000+02:00

Always I find myself
Revolving about the orbit that
Surrounds you
Hopelessly caught
Amid your storm
Devastated by your enigma.

you think you know me

2002-05-13T08:27:00.000+02:00

You think
You know
Me.

Who I am
Inside
When the world does not
Engulf me,
When I cast off
My hide.

You think
You know
Me.

Know of my pains
Know of my tears
Know of my courage
Know of my fears
Know of my blood
Know of my dreams
Know of my loves
And things, it seems

You think
You know
Me.

You don‚Äôt.

questions to the stranger

2002-02-12T09:26:00.000+02:00

Questions to the stranger

If I knew you,
If we spoke,
I would ask;
When those eyes
Close,
What paths do your mind broach?
What centre causes your elliptical orbit?
Are there horizons where you're going?
Does the wind resist when you fly?
Are clouds soft to your touch?
Do the flights of your dreams help you to soar?

Or do you remain grounded?

chocolate for valentines

2002-02-07T09:25:00.000+02:00

Chocolate for Valentines
Have I ever told you that your voice

Brings to mind the sensation

Of melted chocolate

Slowly

Being Poured

Over

Quivering

Anticipant

Dessert
?

Hot

Sweet

Rich.

mater

2002-01-31T09:29:00.000+02:00

Wonder
What her thoughts were
When
She
Strapped death to her body
And walked into
That busy scene.

Wonder
What their thoughts were
As
They
Sat oblivious; drinking their coffees
Swapping their subjectives,
Talking their trends.

She stood amongst them,
An outsider looking out,
While their gazes
Washed uninterested
Just as they

Remained dull
When her children
Cried for bread
Wept for light
Shrieked for a dream.

Wonder
What her thought was
When
The
Sudden fiery death
Cloaked her mind;

‚ÄúI must die, so my children may live.‚Äù

Wonder
What their thoughts were
When
The it shattered through
Their scene;

‚ÄúPalestine, have we wronged thee?‚Äù

the addict

2001-10-23T02:23:00.000+02:00

The addict

You are my poison,
You are my weed.
Course through my veins,
For the hunger must feed.

Feed the hunger,
Slake the thirst,
Crush the craving
With which I'm cursed.

Give me not E's vision,
Nor Mary Jane's Love,
Give me only of you,
And we'll soar above.

And Lead me to your Sphere of Dreams
Where I drink of your liquor,
And I slide into my stupor,
As your spirit takes me quicker.

Let dissipate the nicotine rings,
It's only you that I crave,
Drain away the caffeine fix,
It's your buzz that I must have.

strange attractions

2001-10-18T08:21:00.000+02:00

I don't even like you much
Personally,
But inexplicably it's your touch
That diminishes me.

I think often times you make
No sense.
But I couldn't ever take
Your silence.

What is it about you that I
Weirdly desire?
That even if I were to socially die
I'd still fan the fire.

I've done some bad things to you,
I think, with good reason.
But about that which you or I do,
I'd like to forget the treason.

If I were to tell anyone about
The way I feel,
They'd brand me crazy, insane no doubt
And tell me to go get real.

I'm not looking for lifetime commitment,
That's like freedom in traction,
I just want a little acknowledgment
And maybe a pleasant distraction.

monologue

2001-09-26T17:56:00.000+02:00

Monologue

Shame!
You look so sad!
Like you want out,
Your mendicant gaze
Leaves no doubt.
Looking for a saviour?
Sorry, there's no one here.
Try tomorrow,
The next day
After that...
How about never?
Is that a tear?
Dust in your eye, right?
No?
Oh, I see,
You're hurt.
Cut inside.
Feel like dirt?
(yes, but you'll
never feel as
unworthy as me)
Oh No!
You look all shredded.
Tsk. Tsk.
I feel for you
Like you felt for me,
Remember?
When I drowned
In the blood
Of my bleeding soul.
When I suffocated
In the emotion's
Death stranglehold.
Where was my saviour?
My redemption?
I found none in you,
Only your derision
As you built your pedestal
Above me.
Now you look to me
With circular tear-rimmed eyes,
Searching for your sunshine
And the clear blue skies.
You'll find none in me,
That's assured.
When my days were black,
And the sun deserted me,
I found no light in
Your gaze,
Only bitter, vile gall
Of feigned friendship and
Faked respect.
And you dare to
Reach out to me for help?

My back is turned.

so you found your angel

2001-09-24T08:36:00.000+02:00

So you found your angel
And it wasn't me,
So it's time I stop romancing
Wishing us to be.

Halt! The thoughts
Brake! All fantasy
Cease! Reiteratant dreaming
Stop! Impotent reverie

No more mind of darkness where
All that shone was your light.
No more fancy illusion cloaked
In satin day or shroud of night.

No longer will I chase
After the elusive dreams
Along the banks of diamond rivers
And the fairy streams.

What once was but my
Breath for your breath,
Now become mine alone.
What once was but my
Dream for your dream,
Has no place in this soul of stone.

fairytale ending

2001-05-16T08:10:00.000+02:00

Fairytale ending

So he rode off into the sunset
His lame white horse kicking up
Choking trails of dust;
Leaving heartbreak in its wake

And the thin film of dirt
Settling over the fragments.
My knight in tarnished armour,
Riding off into the setting sun,

Galloping into his future,
Face turned towards the light,
Back turned towards me.
He doesn't see me wave goodbye.

And he never sees me cry.

for him who crushed me

2001-03-26T09:12:00.000+02:00

For him who crushed me

I wish he knew
What it felt like
To drown from the inside,
To feel the water
Claiming his breath,
The liquid death,
Displacing the air.

I wish he knew
What it felt like
To have the flames
Of utmost humiliation
Lick at his skin
And brand him
An utter fool.

I wish he knew
Then he'd know

How I feel.

cut

2001-03-03T09:06:00.000+02:00

Ate a pack of razor blades
Now they're tearing me up
Inside.

Swallowed them when I saw you,
Thought they could help me
Hide.

Thought I could cut my feelings
Hoped they would fall
Away.

Instead of helping me forget you,
They made it worse
Today.

Couldn't look you in the face,
So scared you'd see me
Bleed.

Like even if I was tough and hard,
You'd still know it's you
I Need.

for one who intrigued

2000-12-21T09:09:00.000+02:00

For one who intrigued

The way you said my name
It was like you were tasting it,
Your mouth moving over it,
Your tongue slipping under it,
Savouring the simple syllables.

You, the epicure, the connoisseur,
You look at me and say,
"that's a nice name"
No one ever did it the same

The way you said my name.

randoms

2000-10-26T08:12:00.000+02:00

Random thoughts

Shatterings of crystal hope
Shards of glassy thread;
Entwine their filaments around my heart
And weave their pattern in my head.

The broken dreams of long ago.
Now healed but seem more broken so.
Wasted illusion
Unreal reality

Shadows life
And dampens ability.

regret

2000-10-22T17:55:00.000+02:00

I didn't want to laugh,
Honest.
When he said that
You were

So fat

That
When you
Lay down on

The beach

Greenpeace tries to
Push you
Back into

The ocean.

I would be lying
If I said;

I didn't see what was
In your eyes,
The moisture strained there,
Threatening Noah to

Build his ark.

I saw through your
Quivering grin.

But

Beneath my surface

All thought pulled taut.
Bubble, bubble
All toil and trouble,

My paradise forever lost,

I laughed.

of rain and rainbows

2000-03-28T09:02:00.000+02:00

The rain may fall and
Drown the smiles off of little children's faces.
It could even wash away a lifetime's toil,
And erase any hardwork's traces.

It could even force the sun-proud day
To don a cloak of sombre grey.
But there is one thing you should always remember,
There is one thing you should never forget,

That no matter how hard it can rain,
A rainbow will always pay off the debt.

guilt

2000-02-19T09:04:00.000+02:00

Guilt

Dig me a grave
And fill it with me
Let the sand whisper in
Covering up my shame

Dirt like water
Trickling in
Washing me of any blame

While in the streets
Like gutter dogs
With gnashing teeth
And bloody claws

They pick at our flesh
And bay at our flaws.
They fight to feed on the carrion
Of our putrefying souls.

But we, who are not blameless
Like the beasts, we join in this rite,
And gorge on the shortfalls of kinsmen
And welcome the parting of light.

Dig me my grave
And fill it with me
Let me close my eyes
And stop my thoughts run

The earth a cold blanket
I bid farewell to the sun.

for the zephyr

1999-10-22T17:54:00.000+02:00

Like the flickering of fireflies
Always

Like a burning, torrential inferno
Forever

As summer breezes blow, the
Zephyr

Carries with it flutters and feeling
Always

Like fire and wind am I
Looking

For sustaining love; elusive temptress, spiritor of hearts.

you move me

1999-10-14T08:00:00.000+02:00

You move me

Your smile is like sunshine
On the dim-ridden day
Undulating as waves

My blackness breaks away
Only peace remains; its
Vast oceans wash clean
Everything and I rejoice.

My hope, heard and seen
Echoing through my soul.

often

1999-10-13T10:57:00.000+02:00

Often

Too often when I am pensive
Too often when I sit alone
The world becomes nebulous indistinct

As the day drifts, flown by in a haze
Like sand through my fingers
And slipping clouds strained through the sky

Unspoken are the feelings I cloak
Veiled beneath a calm veneer
Folded in my confident fa√ßade

Too often I am disguised
Too often I do conceal
The cowering me behind the brave

I quail underneath
I shiver, I shake
Scarring inside, and inside,
I break

I am rooted, frozen, but
The world spins a breathless
Miasma a vertigo of chaos
Often, all too often

I play a part
A shadow behind a porcelain mask.

the elements and i

1999-07-30T07:56:00.000+02:00

If I were like the sun
I would shine on your person
Make you glow with hope
Without burning your reality

If I were like the ocean
I would surround you in my calm
Make you bathe in the waters of serenity
Without drowning you in a awash of tedium.

If I were like the rain
I would wash away your fears
Make you feel cleansed of hurt
Without drenching you in the cold of unforgiveness.

a sunny afternoon

1999-06-27T07:56:00.000+02:00

While the sun still shines
And the birds still sing,
You break me like a helpless twig
And I lose it all, everything.

I lose my hope, I lose my dream.
I lose my better tomorrow
I wallow in the grave of pity
I bathe in the waters of sorrow

I fall in lonely's great abyss
I fly on darkness' wing
And all this while the sun still shines
And the birds still sing.

only the lonely

1999-03-26T08:51:00.000+02:00

I am alone;
As the wind
That shifts the sands
On pebbled beaches,
As the feather
That drifts on the zephyr ,
drowns in the ocean,
As the solitary songbird
Witnesses break of day
Singing in welcome of morning,
I am alone.

picture window

1999-01-21T08:43:00.000+02:00

Picture Window

A boy looks out of a window,
What picture does he see?
Does he look for a rainbow
Or the remains of poverty?
Does he search for sunshine
Or does he curse the rain?
Do his hopes climb like a vine
Or do they shrivel dry in pain?
We can never know what he will see,
Who knows how his world is?
We can never know what he can be,
His thoughts and dreams, they are his.
No one can take what's inside away
They try to break him, crush the pride
But they won't steal his hope, try they may
They are his dreams to share or to hide.
Boy looking out of a window
I pray that you can see
The brightness of a rainbow
Instead of dark misery.

bittersweet

1998-09-22T17:52:00.000+02:00

If life was anything like the books,
We'd all be princes and queens,
If life was anything like the movies,
We'd all have money and dreams.
But life is nothing like a fantasy realm
It is true, with sadness and sorrow,
It is a tale of woe and heartbreak
But we must go on for there is always tomorrow.

the first rhymes

1994-10-22T17:50:00.000+02:00

(the first two poems i ever wrote, yeah, i should have quit when i was ahead)

Home, home, home
The place I roam,
Anywhere's home for me.
It can be a little boat
Out in the great blue sea.
It can even be a shack
On the hills of Acapac.
Anywhere's home for me,
A place where I enjoy privacy.
Four walls, a window, roof and a door,
Who could ever ask for more?
So as I sit to write this poem,
I think of my home, sweet home.

Standing Alone

There is a tree outside,
Which stands all alone.
Behind it children hide
And birds call it home.

In the first spring
It blossoms and grows
Alone it's a king
That everyone knows.

Then come summer,
With seeds to bear
And the circus with a drummer
In the weather so fair.

Then comes fall
And down come the seeds
Children play ball
While mother earth feeds

Then there's dreaded winter,
The time for frost and cold
And crackling fires splinter
And the wind blows so bold

Then comes spring again
And the tree is not alone,
For where the seeds have lain,
Four new trees have grown.

(Age 11)