monologue

Monologue

Shame!
You look so sad!
Like you want out,
Your mendicant gaze
Leaves no doubt.
Looking for a saviour?
Sorry, there's no one here.
Try tomorrow,
The next day
After that...
How about never?
Is that a tear?
Dust in your eye, right?
No?
Oh, I see,
You're hurt.
Cut inside.
Feel like dirt?
(yes, but you'll
never feel as
unworthy as me)
Oh No!
You look all shredded.
Tsk. Tsk.
I feel for you
Like you felt for me,
Remember?
When I drowned
In the blood
Of my bleeding soul.
When I suffocated
In the emotion's
Death stranglehold.
Where was my saviour?
My redemption?
I found none in you,
Only your derision
As you built your pedestal
Above me.
Now you look to me
With circular tear-rimmed eyes,
Searching for your sunshine
And the clear blue skies.
You'll find none in me,
That's assured.
When my days were black,
And the sun deserted me,
I found no light in
Your gaze,
Only bitter, vile gall
Of feigned friendship and
Faked respect.
And you dare to
Reach out to me for help?

My back is turned.