those moments where you think you may not see again

for whatever pall of heaviness is cast
over before-sleep thoughts.

you can never thrive on tainted water.
yet you wish you could draw out its poison,

go back to happier things,
before other things.
ugly things.

like
miscommunication.
misunderstanding.
mistakes.

without recrimination and who's to blame.
without liability.
without anything but the nothing of nothing.
like the beginning.

but you can't.

so you wish
only good for whatever lies ahead.
without looking back.